Them

Someone mentioned to me that there are actually 4 other teams in the Met's division. I did some research and discovered this was true. So I decided to see what they'd been up to.

#1 Philadelphia Phillies, 16-8: The city of neighborly hatred is well known for greasy sandwiches, funny names for heroes and being across the river from the Camden Aquarium. The team, which is named so cleverly after long-time SNL favorite Phil Hartman, wears red and white in honor of their favorite color, pink. Led by a pitching staff Aced by Joe Blanton, they manage to do pretty well with the likes of Roy Halladay and Cliff Lee rounding out the rotation. Young slugger, Raul Ibanez is likely to be a franchise player and hang around in Philly for a long-term contract.

#2 Florida Marlins, 15-8: Not far from "The Birdcage" and only an hour (or so) South of Boca Woods Retirement Village, the Florida Marlins play baseball in a Football stadium. The team which is full of elderly players and inflated contracts is in dire financial trouble as they are constantly competing with heavy spenders like Pittsburgh and Minnesota. The offensive star of the team is clearly Donnie Murphy, while they rely heavily on Chris Volstad in the pressure pitching department. The team will likely try to move Hanley Ramirez for an older more expensive player as he doesn't fit the teams model for success. I hear the Yankees are interested.

#3 Atlanta Braves, 13-13: While native American's were un-abashedly wiped out of Georgia by the prison colonies that landed in the 18th century, their memory is kept alive by racist-ly pretending to scalp opposing teams and chanting a slightly less racist hymn then, "What Made the Red Man Red?" The team, which is haunted by the ghost of Bobby Cox, is known for their sure-handed defensive second baseman. Their third baseman, Larry Jones, will probably never amount to much and shouldn't make too much of a lasting impact. Thankfully Brooks Conrad is their to replace him.

#4 New York Mets, 11-13: Not so many miles from where the greatest Chinese restaurant in history once stood (Lums) is a stadium nestled into one of the safest and most friendly neighborhoods on earth. Next to that Tennis stadium and across the train tracks is Citi Field. Terry Collins is new to the team and he made himself stand out by being far whiter than the previous two managers. The change has greatly helped Jason Bay. It's rumored that all Canadians have a natural fear of skin pigmentation.

#5 Washington Nationals, 10-13: This team might have the largest fan-base in the nation. Selling out every game (against the Phillies) the Nationals enjoy the much deserved respect of a team with a long and inspiring history. When George Washington chopped down the cherry tree it was to craft a bat to play for his beloved Nationals. Coincidentally he needed wooden teeth because he used his teeth to carve that very bat. The Nationals are in last place, but it could be far worse. Thankfully their Achilles Heal, Ryan Zimmerman, cannot play currently and drag the team farther down with his awful all-around game.

Beast or Least of the East?

The NL East is supposed to be written in stone for 2011. The Phillies DO have 4 Aces leading off their rotation, not to mention: Howard, Utley, Victorino and Rollins. However when I look at a team as a total package it's not the Phillies I necessarily come up with as the leaders in the NL East. Don't get too excited... it's not the Mets either.


Hitting - B+
Fielding - B
Starting Pitching - A+
Bullpen - C
Overall - B+

Discussion: The Phillies rotation for 2011 embodies what an A+ rotation would look like. 4 Aces and a solid contributor. So my comparisons start there. HOWEVER, the Phillies lineup isn't exactly: Ellsbury, Pedroia, Crawford, Gonzalez, Ortiz, Youkilis, Drew, Saltalamacchia, Scutaro. (Note, I'd also rank Texas as an A+ and the Yankees as an A) Add to this a so-so bullpen and the cracks in their armor start to show.


Hitting - B+
Fielding - A-
Starting Pitching - B+
Bullpen - A-
Overall - A-

Discussion: Look at that. Won't Zak Carter be so proud of me for picking his Braves to win the division. Here's why: If I look at the Braves hitting and compare it to the Mets and Phillies it comes out even. Add that I see only one glaring hole in their defense (Dan Uggla) and that they probably have the deepest pen in the division and their well-rounded-ness makes them a cut above the rest.


Hitting - B
Fielding - B-
Starting Pitching - B
Bullpen - B
Overall - B

Discussion: The Marlins are a team that can win this division if things break right. Anytime you are throwing out young talent like Ramirez, Sanchez, Morrison, Coghlan and Stanton you can do big things. The issue is, without Uggla their offense (on paper) isn't on par with the Phils, Mets and Braves and While Josh Johnson and Ricky Nolasco are good, they lack the depth in the rotation to match Atlanta again. This team is only a few clicks behind Philly so keep an eye out.


Hitting - B
Fielding - A-
Starting Pitching - D+
Bullpen - B+
Overall - B-

Discussion: Lets not focus on the doom and gloom and simply face the fact that if rotations were essays in High School. The Phillies would get and A+ and the Mets would not pass by much. The Mets fielding and bullpen keep them in the running and their hitting is ranked below Philly and Atlanta only because I feel confident that Beltran will not play a full season. The Mets rotation COULD be much better than a D+... they just aren't on paper.


Hitting - C+
Fielding - B+
Starting Pitching - C
Bullpen - B
Overall - B-

Discussion: Imagine that Stephen Strasburg were healthy and that Bryce Harper were ready. Well... they aren't. That means the pitching staff is only about league-average and that the hitting is the worst in their division. Add to this that their SS is not exactly Ozzie Smith and that Adam LaRoche's bat usually takes a nap through the end of May and the Nationals still rank last in the NL East.

Ranking Them:
1. Atlanta Braves - Well Rounded and Wholesome
2. Philadelphia Phillies - God's Rotation
3. Florida Marlins - In Youth We Trust
4. New York Mets - Maybes and Ifs
5. Washington Nationals - Just Wait Til Next Year