Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Do Mets Fans NEED Reasons To Drink?

Alcoholism is generally a bad thing so please drink responsibly or not at all. Drinking and being a Met fan will sometimes lead to friends and family worrying about your worsening depression and inevitable suicide. Sure... you've learned by being a fan that the Mets are prone to give back every lead they are given, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. It doesn't mean that you seek refuge in the forgetting power of alcohol, a substance designed to poison your brain cells... to death.

Yet, show me a baseball game without a drunken fan (I happen to be including little league in this) and I'll show you a game that isn't REALLY a baseball game. In fact... you are pobably watching cricket or polo.

Reasons to Drink: David Wright - Sure... Wright is a bastion of good hitting that keeps the Mets in the least bit relevant, but that doesn't mean he isn't frustrating. Break out the tequila and pour a round.
  • Drinking for every K would be bad for your liver. Instead drink any time that David has an AB without a K, Hit, BB or RBI.
  • Pour yourself a fruity cocktail when Mr. Wright extends his tongue to "balance" or whatever reason he has for sticking it out.
  • Drink a shot if you hear someone praise Wright's defense. He's about to commit an error.
Reasons to Drink: Carlos Beltran - People know that Carlos is not high on my list of Mets. He is supposed to be a good player and he's been okay this year so maybe I should cut him a break. I'm not going to, but maybe I should.
  • Drink a shot whenever the camera focuses on Beltran's media-crazed knee.
  • Drink a shot when people talk about Beltran's expiring contract and trade value.
  • Pour yourself a tall glass of something awful if someone speaks whistfully about Carlos' cursed Mets career.
Reasons to Drink: Jose Reyes - I love Jose and want him to stay but I also get frustrated by the guy. (Note... he's not a kid, unless I am.)
  • Time for a drink when Jose hits a homer. Celebrate it because he usually follows up displays of power by popping up for two weeks.
  • Drink a shot when the camera pans to Jose smiling like a happy Buddhist in the dugout.
  • Start that beer-bong going when Jose starts one of his epic 19 part handshakes. Start a second if you finish that one before Jose finishes his handshake.
Reasons to Drink: The Broadcast Booth - Click on the image above to link to a wonderful blog post on a Gary, Keith and Ron drinking game that inspired me to write this.

In Case You Missed It

Reasons Not To Drink:
  • Liver Disease
  • Car Accidents
  • Drunk Dialing
  • "Friends" Markers and Your Face
  • Remembering the Little Things (Like your name)
  • Coordination
  • Calories
  • Fights With Inanimate Objects
  • And For Mets Fans... False Hope

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